"When I first came to you, I was a mess! I had so many irrational (well, seemed irrational at the time) fears that were taking control of my life. Panic attacks, a feeling of being utterly lost and feeling like the world was constantly getting ready to fall on top of me. Needless to say, with your help I now know that all of that were these three hurt and fearful children that resided somewhere within me. Over time, you helped guide me to into saving these kids and getting to better understand the impact my sexual abuse and my abuser had on me.
For a good while when we were doing our work on saving these kids, so many feeling of shame, guilt, fear and instability came up and to be honest with you, I started to fear that my sexual abuse was going to be something that was going to define me as a person after all of these years. However, I now know that nothing could be farther from the truth.
I don't know if i shared this with you when we were doing our sessions, but my abuser got 18 years as a plea bargain. 2014-2015 made 18 years. I had not thought much about my abuse for many years and when I came to see you, I was convinced that what I was going through was totally about something else and not about the sexual abuse. I had shoved all of this deep down inside and didnt even realize that it was at the 18 year mark that my children were finally ready be rescued and walk with me.
I can go on and on about the many correlation that ended up coming up for me over these last few months. Know however that they are nothing short of profound. Now that these three kids (and my golden child) are finally feeling safe and secure, they have revealed to me some amazing stuff. They have helped me to find this inner place of stillness that I have never known before. They have shown me this inner place of purity that no one, ever, can soil. I would say in this place, I truly experience God.
Esther, the people I work with, my fellow chefs, my family, my friends, everyone has made it a point to come up to me and let me know in one way or another that they have noticed a change. The sense of calm and equanimity that I am experiencing inside is totally apparent to those on the outside and I LOVE IT! For the first time in SUCH a long time, I finally feel like I am living life and that life is working with me to be who I came here to be. I am now living in a great neighborhood closer to work, I am making new friends, feeling more connected to spirit than ever and just am happy.
I wanted to write this to you to thank you. I am sure you have heard this many times before and it is probably no surprise to you, but the work you are doing is not only important but essential. without being dramatic, I honestly think I would have ended up harming myself back when I first met you. I was going through so much pain that I didnt even realize I was going through and I felt so isolated from the world and from life. What you do is nothing short of a miracle and you should know that if nothing else, you saved me and I wanted to thank you."
Updated: November 2016